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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26388133">Take care</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT'>MiriamMT</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [60]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Break Up, Hook-Up, Hurt Ian Gallagher, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher Being an Idiot, M/M, No Smut, Post-Break Up, Sad Ian Gallagher, Sad Mickey Milkovich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:27:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,687</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26388133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian and Mickey broke up. Well, Ian broke up with Mickey, and Mickey spends his days sad and alone - except when Ian comes around once or twice a month to fuck around. But when he gets angry as soon as Mickey mentions his disorder, Mickey gets tired of him and looks for a new boyfriend. </p><p>"Debbie said she would go and get you, but you never came. Why weren't you there, I wanted you to be there"<br/>Mickey clenched his fist, "Fuck you.", he growled, "You don't get to do this, Ian. You have no fucking right to be like this now. To guilttrip me for not coming around after you said you don't want me near you. You didn't want me around so why would you be mad when I wasn't?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Mickey Milkovich/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [60]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Take care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This is it. This is you breaking up with me" <br/>"Yeah" <br/>"Really? ... Fuck"</p><p>That was their last conversation. <br/>Ian broke up with Mickey a month ago. Mickey wouldn't beg and plead for him to change his mind - the man already stripped him off most of his dignity as it was.</p><p>Since then Mickey sat in his sad little house alone. Svetlana and Yevgeny moved in with Kev and Svet - not that Mickey particularly cared. His sister was gone, his cousin in prison and fuck knows where his brothers were.</p><p>Mickey was sad, then he was angry, then very drunk until he passed out - it was his own personal hell loop.</p><p>Then suddenly one day, Ian stood in front of his door again. <br/>Mickey was confused and Ian didn't care to clear up his confusion.</p><p>Ian kissed him passionately and pulled him to the bedroom. Mickey wasn't sure what was happening.</p><p>Did Ian want him back? Was this Ian asking him to take him back?</p><p>He let Ian fuck him in his bed, which used to be their bed. Afterwards they lay next to each other, Mickey looked at him, he looked at the ceiling.</p><p>"Gallagher?" <br/>"Mhmm?" <br/>"So ... how are you?" <br/>Ian shrugged, "Fine why?" <br/>"Taking your meds and everything?"  </p><p>Ian sat up suddenly, "What do you care?", he growled, "Can't you mind your own fucking business for five minutes?" <br/>Mickey couldn't understand this - why was Ian mad at him now? <br/>"Given that you just put your business up my ass, I thought I at least had the right to ask."</p><p>"Well, you don't.", Ian said and got up from the bed, "It's not your concern anymore how I'm doing." <br/>Ian started putting on his clothes. <br/>"Ian, what are you doing?" <br/>"I'm going home, what does it look like?" <br/>"So, what... you just come here, fuck me and leave again?" <br/>Ian shrugged, "You gotta admit, the best part of our relationship was when it still worked like this."</p><p>That was like a punch in the face. Mickey was so stunned by that sentence, that he could only stare at Ian while he left the room.</p><p>Best part of their relationship? The hooking up? Ian tells him that after he annoyed him with wanting to have a committed relationship for ages?</p><p>How fucking dared he? <br/>Mickey left the bed, quickly pulled on his boxers, and stormed to the door, he ripped it open, Ian was still standing on his front porch, lighting a cigarette.</p><p>"You're a fucking asshole" <br/>Ian just sighed, he didn't even care to turn around and look at him, "Go back inside, Mick. You're making a fool out of yourself."<br/>"Says the one screaming about how he's not his mom just to pull the same shit she always did a minute later! Get the fuck off my porch, bitch!", Mickey threw the door shut again and went back to his bed.</p><p>Outside, Ian swallowed hard and quickly wiped the thick tears from his face. <br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Another month later Ian showed up again, this time drunk and in the middle of the night.</p><p>He knocked on the door to Mickeys house, calling his name repeatedly, until Mickey had no other choice but to open before one of his neighbours shot the Gallagher.</p><p>"Ian, the fuck do you want here?", Mickey hissed when he opened the door. <br/>Ian grinned at him and let himself into the house. <br/>"You're drunk", Mickey said. He hated it when Ian drank on his meds, the booze worked quicker and harder than usual on him .... that was <strong>if</strong> he took the meds.</p><p>Ian nodded, "I didn't drink so much, just two beers", his words were slightly slurred, they were working on him like 8 beers on a normal person. <br/>So, he either took his meds or lied about the number of drinks.</p><p>"Go home", Mickey just said, but Ian was coming closer, until he pushed him against the door, "What are you doing?" <br/>Ian leaned down to kiss him, but Mickey pushed him away. <br/>"Fucking talk to me!", he growled.</p><p>Ian just looked at him with his bright eyes, "Kiss me", he whispered. <br/>"Ian, no, not until you told me what you want here" <br/>"You. Just want to be with you"</p><p>And Mickey couldn't resist him. He kissed him now and pulled him closer to him. <br/>Ian wanted to be with him - that meant he wanted to be back together with him, right? He didn't really mean what he said about the best part of their relationship being the casual sex, right?</p><p>He wanted to believe so badly that Ian still wanted him, him and not just his body. Mickey was still insanely in love with him - so he had sex with him again.</p><p>Ian didn't even take the time to go to another room, he pushed Mickey to the next piece of furniture, which was the couch, bend him over the back and then fucked him with their pants pushed to their knees like when they were teenagers.</p><p>The next morning, Mickey woke up with Ian lying behind him, cuddling him close, trapping him in his arms like he always used to do.</p><p>Mickey decided to not move and just enjoy the moment a little longer. He felt Ian's calm breathing and his hand clasped around his own.</p><p>He didn't know that Ian was already awake and just lay there, looking at Mickey, feeling Mickey's skin, smelling on his hair.</p><p>Ian pushed his Body closer against Mickey's, wrapping himself around him, making sure he couldn't go anywhere.</p><p>"Are you awake?", Mickey whispered when he noticed the movement.</p><p>Ian leaned his head back immediately, he closed his eyes for a second and then detached himself from Mickey, rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling with an empty look on his face.</p><p>Mickey turned around to him. <br/>"Hey", he whispered, "How are you feeling? Were a little drunk yesterday" <br/>Ian shrugged, "I'm fine. I only had like 2 beers." <br/>Mickey nodded, "At least that means you're taking your meds, right?" <br/>Ian sat up and stood up from the bed without looking at Mickey.</p><p>Mickey scoffed, "You aren't serious. You're not gonna pull the same shit as last time, now, are you?" <br/>"I don't know what you mean", Ian mumbled and went to the living room, Mickey followed him.</p><p>"You come here, you fuck me, and you leave." <br/>"Yes. Just like we used to, it's not new." <br/>"I fucking came out so it's not like this anymore! What the fuck is wrong with you?"</p><p>"Nothing. I'm fine. And over all - it's none of your fucking business what I'm doing.", he said while searching his clothes together in the living room, then he started to get dressed.<br/>"As long as you're doing me I'm pretty sure it's my business. Or are your cock and your life two completely separate things now?"</p><p>"Yes, they are. I don't want to talk with you about meds and disorders or how I'm fucking feeling, get that into your thick skull!", he yelled at him annoyed, then turned away from him to put on his shoes.</p><p>Ian swallowed hard, "Last night you said you want to be with me." <br/>Ian bit his lips, his fingers stopping at his shoelaces.</p><p>"I meant the sex", he stated dryly and tied his shoelace, "I don't want to be around you to talk about problems. I don't want you near me when it's about medication and psych wards and fucking episodes.", he turned around to him again without really looking at his face, because he couldn't take the look of pain on it, which Mickey didn't even try to hide.</p><p>"It's not your business anymore, you don't have to care about it... have a nice day", then he left so he didn't have to see Mickey's reaction.</p><p>Mickey took the ashtray from the coffee table and threw it in the direction of the door Ian just left through. He ran his hands over his face and sat down on the couch. Memories washed over him of what happened on this very couch - it happened because of Ian. And Ian didn't give a fuck afterwards. Mickey always got hurt because of Ian and Ian never seemed to care - he was shot, beaten up, put in juvie, forced into Marriage - and Ian had the audacity to say... Mickey started crying suddenly.</p><p>Who was this fucking person? He definitely wasn't the Ian he did all of this shit for, was he?</p><p>Ian left so he didn't have to see any of it, as soon as he got home, he took his meds. <br/>"You were with Mickey again", Fiona said when she saw him in the kitchen. <br/>"Leave me alone." <br/>"Is this actually making any sense to you? You left him and now you're going back to him all the time and cry when you come home." <br/>"I'm not crying." <br/>"Just saying... either you want him or not, but what is this half-assed relationship all about?" <br/>"You wouldn't get it", Ian just mumbled and went upstairs. <br/>~~~~~~~\\\~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>After this encounter Mickey was done with being sad about Ian - now he was just angry. He beat people up who looked at him the wrong way, he reconnected with his brothers to help them with their money scams and drug business, which luckily often resulted in Mickey being able to break someone's nose or shoot at something.</p><p>Mickey was lashing out and Ian had no idea about it.</p><p>Mickey got angry when he saw him again after their last encounter and they had angry hate sex on the kitchen table until it broke, and they resumed on the cold kitchen tiles without giving a fuck. <br/>And afterwards Mickey didn't ask about the pills or the disorder. Ian left again and Mickey barely even reacted.</p><p>Ian came over once or twice a month, sometimes drunk in the middle of the night, sometimes in the afternoon. Ian often let himself into the house. Mickey didn't even want to resist him most of the time - he wanted to fuck him in every square inch of this house. He didn't want to care about his feelings anymore.</p><p>Lately, Ian came over twice a month, without saying so before, he brought them dinner, they ate, they fucked, sometimes even watched a movie and sometimes Ian even slept at Mickey's place again.</p><p>Mickey knew it wasn't about him, Ian didn't want him back, so Mickey didn't try to get him back. Instead he decided, since he was single and Ian only used him for sex, he could start playing the field. He never actively explored the gay dating world. He started with going to a gay club and hooking up with one or two dudes (not at the same time).</p><p>Then Mickey met Dave. Dave was a tall, handsome guy who sold him his new kitchen table, offered to help Mickey putting it together at home and then asked him on a date - smooth motherfucker.</p><p>Mickey started liking him. He was funny and strong, he didn't only talk about himself, even though he liked talking about his family. He seemed to have all of Ian's best qualities plus the opposite of Ian's worst qualities.</p><p>Dave had dark brown hair (while Mickey's other hook ups were all redheads) and small freckles on his face. He had nice, bright eyes, which nearly sparkled when he talked about something he loved or existed him.</p><p>In contrast to his redheaded, Ian-looking hook ups, he didn't start seeing Dave to replace Ian, or to act like he had Ian back. It all just kind of happened, he started connecting with Dave. Of course, the sex was great too, but weirdly enough it wasn't about the sex for Mickey. He enjoyed being around another person, he enjoyed being listened too, he enjoyed someone was willing to spend time with him just for the sake of it.</p><p>They weren't in an official relationship quite yet, 2 weeks after their first date, but they were at Mickey's place together like so often.</p><p>They were just joking around about a show they watched together, the teasing lead to a heavy make out on Mickeys couch.</p><p>While he was busy kissing Dave passionately and running his hand though his hair, he heard the front door opening and then Ian's voice suddenly: <br/>"Mickey? Are you home? I brought you the dumplings you like so- ... much"</p><p>Dave sat up confused and looked at the other man suddenly standing in the doorway to the living room.</p><p>Mickey didn't get up he just leaned his head over the arm rest until he could see Ian, who stared at them shocked.</p><p>"How often did I tell you to text me before you come over?" <br/>Ian didn't get a sound out of his open mouth, he just stood there shell shocked, with Asian take out in his hands.</p><p>"Uhm, would someone like to fill me in?", Dave asked, "Do you have a boyfriend you didn't tell me about?" <br/>"What? No. He's just my ex. Ian, could you like... go home? I'm a little busy here."</p><p>Ian closed his mouth and swallowed hard, "Yeah, sure", he whispered, "Sorry to, uhm, bother you...", he was about to turn around. <br/>"Wait", Mickey said, and Ian immediately turned around again. <br/>"You can leave the food here."</p><p>Ian bit his lip and very slowly approached the couch with the two men, put the takeout on the coffee table and then, just as slowly, left the house.</p><p>"Ex, huh?", He heard Dave say when he opened the door. <br/>"Yeah, we broke up like 7 months ago and he keeps coming around for sex. Whatever, where were we?" <br/>And when Ian closed the door, he heard them kissing again.</p><p>He stood outside on Mickey's porch for some time between 5 minutes and 5 hours like a marble statue.</p><p>Mickey had a new boyfriend? Ian didn't even know that Mickey started seeing other people at all...<br/>Ian somehow arrived home at last, unsure how he even moved this far.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>The next day Ian went to Mickey's place again. He waited across the street until he saw the new guy finally leaving. <br/>They said goodbye with a kiss at the door, where neighbours could see them! He would have never kissed Ian like this!</p><p>When the new guy was gone, Ian marched over to Mickeys house and let himself in.</p><p>As soon as he got to the living room, he was looking at a gun being held in his face.</p><p>"Fuck's sake Ian, you're aware that some people shoot people who come into their homes unannounced, right?", Mickey said, shook his head and put the gun away, "What do you want?"</p><p>"Who was that guy?" <br/>"Dave", Mickey shrugged. <br/>"Dave. Dave who?" <br/>"Why do you care about his last name? Wanna poke him on Facebook or something?"</p><p>Ian wasn't in the mood for jokes. <br/>"So, what is he? A hook up or..." <br/>"My new boyfriend. As of last night, actually, after you came in here, we decided to label our relationship."</p><p>"Boyfriend?", Ian repeated and took a step back, be really was his new boyfriend? He started a whole new relationship? Ian had a hard time comprehending this.</p><p>Mickey shrugged, "Yeah, my boyfriend. You know that thing that you aren't anymore." <br/>"How can you do this?", Ian whispered. <br/>"Sorry what? How can<strong> I</strong> do this?", Mickey repeated and scoffed, "Are you serious? You broke up with me 7 months ago and then came over every once in a while, to treat me like a fuck toy. Dave at least wants to be with me. He likes spending time with me and appreciates me. While you just threw me away like a used condom after you were done with me."</p><p>Ian looked away and scrunched up his face, "But I didn't fuck random dudes since we broke up." <br/>"Really? That's interesting, given that you did fuck other dudes <strong>while</strong> we were still together."</p><p>"I was manic, it doesn't count", Ian whispered.<br/>"Oh, now we're talking about the disorder? I'm not allowed to even mention that thing when you come over to fuck me in my own house, but look how quickly you can pull it out when you can use it as an excuse.", Mickey crossed his arms in front of his chest.</p><p>"Okay, I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I cheated, I'm sorry I was manic, I'm sorry I have this fucking disorder! What am I supposed to do about it?!", he started yelling desperately.</p><p>"Stop fucking yelling at me. Stop apologising for the disorder, no one wants that. I don't want that. In fact, I don't want to hear anything from you anymore."</p><p>"You don't mean that", his voice was low again, he looked him in the eyes now. <br/>"I mean it. I'm done with you treating me like this. Don't you get it? I'm not gonna be here anymore waiting for you to come over and fuck me. My whole life doesn't revolve around you. You broke up with me, so stay the fuck away."</p><p>"Mick", he whispered desperately, tears were starting to form in his eyes. <br/>Mickey sighed annoyed, "Stop fucking crying. What are you crying about? You literally said to me you don't want to be with me, talk to me, you don't want me near you. So now, it's your turn to go the fuck home and mind your own business. But first you give me back my keys."</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey didn't hear from Ian for 2 months and he was happy about that. He had an amazing time with Dave. He was kind and gentle. Even though he by now found some things that bugged him about the man. Like the way he snored at night, or how he needed complete silence during a movie and couldn't go more than one round of sex a night and how fast he came sometimes.</p><p>But those were minor things, the rest was still great. A while ago, Sandy came back from prison and moved into the house. She has always been kinda rooting for Ian and Mickey and wasn't a big fan of Dave, in fact, it was Sandy who pointed out Dave's annoying sides.</p><p>Mickey and Dave were in Mickeys bed, making out, both naked and Mickey was about to go down on Dave, when the bedroom door was forced open, both men flinched.</p><p>"What the fuck?", Mickey exclaimed and then comprehended who was standing there - Debbie, Ian's little and very pregnant sister, so Mickey quickly made sure Dave and he were both covered up.</p><p>"Debbie, what the fuck?", he repeated. <br/>She looked weirdly at Dave, before redirecting her attention to Mickey. <br/>"Ian's depressed", she stated. <br/>Mickey sighed, "You mean like disorder wise or..." <br/>"Yes, he was fucking manic for like 6 weeks or something, now he is depressed."</p><p>"Okay, thanks for the update, don't you have a baby to push out now?" <br/>Debbie scoffed and put her hands on her hips, "Get the fuck up and go to him!"</p><p>Mickey frowned at her, "Why?" <br/>"Because you love each other maybe?" <br/>"That's a very controversial thing to say after you just walked in on my being about to fuck my boyfriend, don't you think?"</p><p>Debbie took a deep breath and started to lose her demanding demeanour, "Mickey, please, he needs you. You took care of him the last time he was like this, you can handle him way better than we can. Please help him."</p><p>Mickey sighed, "You're barking up the wrong tree here, okay? He said multiple times that he doesn't want me near him when it's about the disorder. He doesn't want me there. So, I'm not gonna go there. So, You're gonna go home and not have your baby in my house, and I'm gonna go down on my boyfriend- because that's what Ian wanted."</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey felt guilty for not going to Ian. He still had some love left for the man - even though he would rather not have - and that love screamed at him in his head to go to Ian.</p><p>But Ian didn't want him there. <br/><em>"I don't want you near me when it's about medication and psych wards and fucking episodes."</em> <br/>That was literally what he said.</p><p>To go to him while Ian didn't want him to be there would just make him look like sad little puppy running to his owner who kicked him to the curb. <br/>Not with Mickey.</p><p>He was happy with Dave. Well, happy-ish. Dave was still a great guy, but lately they started fighting about things. Sure, arguments and stuff happened in every relationship- but whenever they had a disagreement, Dave was very stubborn and, honestly, unreasonable, also he wouldn't really listen to Mickey. And there wasn't much Mickey hated more than not being listened to since his relationship with Ian.</p><p>Dave especially liked to start fights about Ian's ongoing presence in his life. It wasn't Mickeys fault that Ian and his siblings decided to show up all the time (though all the time was a stretch) or that his cousin didn't leave a chance unused to tell both of them how in love Mickey (still) was with Ian.</p><p>It's been around 5 weeks since Debbie's visit. Mickey was alone at home, waiting for Dave to come over. <br/>So, when someone knocked on the door, he just opened thinking it would be Dave - instead, Ian came in.</p><p>They stood across from each other by the door, Ian closed it, they stared at such other.</p><p>"Hey", Mickey mumbled eventually, "I see you got out of bed" <br/>Ian nodded, "Yeah... got meds readjusted and everything... 'm fine."</p><p>Mickey nodded, sighed, and then went to the living room.</p><p>"My niece was born", Ian stated, "She's cute." <br/>"Another Gallagher, congrats."</p><p>"I would have liked you to be there", Ian said finally. <br/>"At the birth of your niece?" <br/>"No."</p><p>They looked at each other, Mickey understood what he meant - of course he understood what he meant!</p><p>"Debbie said she would go and get you, but you never came. Why weren't you there, I wanted you to be there", he rambled and didn't look at him anymore, instead started scratching his arm.</p><p>Mickey clenched his fist, "Fuck you.", he growled. <br/>Ian looked up at him confused and sad.</p><p>"You don't get to do this, Ian. You broke up with me because I cared about you, because I wanted to take care of you and help you. When you came around afterwards and I showed that I cared or asked how you were fucking doing, I got dismissed and told to mind my own business all while you treated me like a fucktoy - so you have no fucking right to be like this now. To guilt trip me for not coming around after you said you don't want me near you. You didn't want me around so why would you be mad when I wasn't?"</p><p>Ian looked at him sadly, "I just", he cleared his throat, struggling to find the right words or his ability to form them, "I didn't want you to suffer because of me, okay? I didn't want to turn us into my mom and Frank and ruin your life. I didn't want you to have to take care of me and worry about me all your life -"</p><p>"Shut up", Mickey just said and scoffed, "Cut out the bullshit, Ian. Stop fucking pretending you did it for me! I wanted to be with you and you threw me away like a used condom and then came around to fuck me every once in a while - how is that supposed to be good for me or better for me than being in a relationship with you where I would give you your meds in the morning? How is telling me that the best part of our relationship was the hooking up, which means that all my efforts trying to make this relationship work were for nothing, making me suffer less than helping you? Are you that fucking screwed in the head that you really think that?"</p><p>Mickey was yelling by the end of that, causing Ian to step back from him ashamed.</p><p>"I told you that I love you and you just made a joke about marriage and left me. Why do you think you're in a position to be mad or disappointed in me at all? How can you still expect me to come around?"</p><p>"I'm sorry", Ian whispered. <br/>"A simply sorry doesn't cut it, Ian."</p><p>Ian looked up at him again, "I'm really so sorry about the things I've said and done, but I didn't mean any of them, Mickey. I just tried to protect you from myself... and - and obviously, it was the wrong fucking way, but I just wanted you to be okay. And I thought breaking up would be the best option for you, but I missed you so much I couldn't stop myself from coming over to you and sleep with you to at least be with you for some hours again.", he shook his head while tears started to form in his eyes, "And I thought it was going well. I thought I could make it work, seeing you, having dinner with you and talking to you, watching movies and having sex like we used to when we were kids while keeping you at a distance from the disorder. I thought we could still be somehow together that way - and then you suddenly had someone else... and that fucking broke me, Mickey. I don't want you to be with someone else, I want to be with you."</p><p>"Don't act like I ruined it. How was I supposed to know about your stupid fucking plan? Forget it. I was ready to spend my whole fucking life with you, Ian. I even arranged with the thought of raising Yevgeny with you and Svetlana. I would have even fucking married you and spend stupid Sunday dinners with your annoying ass family. And now you wanna be mad at me for shit that is definitely your own fault? Are you fucking serious?"</p><p>"We can still do all of that, Mick. Just take me back and leave Dave and we can be together again!", Ian walked over to him and took his hands in his.</p><p>"No. Why would I do that? How am I supposed to know that this isn't just another fucking mood? Ian...", he sighed, "The thing is, when you say over and over again that you don't want to be together with me, that you don't want me to help you or take care of you... I believe you at some point.", he took his hands away from Ian and a tear rolled out of Ian's eye.</p><p>Someone knocked on the door. <br/>"That's Dave. Please leave now" <br/>Ian pressed his lips together and sobbed, he slowly put an arm around Mickeys head and kissed his forehead gently before going to the door.</p><p>Mickey stood by the couch like frozen. <br/>Ian opened the door and looked at Dave. The man was surprised - and not in a happy way - to see him.</p><p>"What are you doing here?", Dave asked. <br/>"Was just leaving", Ian mumbled while pushing past him, "You got a fucking great man there, you even know that?" <br/>"I know that", Dave said, "You didn't."</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Mickey couldn't forget what Ian had said to him - he wanted to be together with him, he tried to protect him ... even though he chose a terrible way to do this.</p><p>Dave made a whole ass scene after he and Ian met. Mickey was just annoyed with him, he didn't want to listen to his rant while he was somewhere completely else in his mind.</p><p>The fight ended with Dave yelling at him: "Grow some balls and finally make sure that dude stays fucking gone! If I ever see him here again with you, I fucking end it!" <br/>And Mickey responding: "Who do you even think you are that you can talk to me like that? You ain't telling me what to do, Bitch!" <br/>And then Dave just stormed away angrily.</p><p>Mickey wasn't even sure what he wanted anymore.</p><p>Ian or Dave?</p><p>He liked Dave, he loved Ian. <br/>Ian hurt him, Dave annoyed him. <br/>He had dreamed about a future with Ian. He was so fucking angry with Ian for a long time. But he also missed him like crazy.</p><p>Ian was his first love, Dave was nice, gentle, considerate. Ian was selfish and mentally ill. <br/>Ian apologized while Dave was stubborn right now.</p><p>He had so many soft feelings for Ian, he had teared down his walls for him, was ready to live a life with him. <br/>He had to do it all over again with Dave. It wasn't even clear if he could really love Dave, develop all the soft feelings he already had for Ian for him too. So, he had to work on himself all over again without knowing if it was worth it? All because Ian decided Mickey shouldn't have to suffer through Ian's disorder and accidentally made suffer even more in the process?</p><p>It all seemed so pointless...</p><p>Mickey sat on his couch, going back and forth between Ian and Dave in his head.</p><p>Someone knocked on the door. Mickey had too much in his mind already... who wanted to annoy him now?</p><p>He actually wanted to ignore the visitor, but after a while he realized he wouldn't leave so soon. <br/>Mickey eventually gave in and went to open the door.</p><p>He wasn't really surprised to find Ian in front of him.</p><p>"Hey", Ian said and smiled shyly, "Can I come in?" <br/>Mickey sighed, "I don't know Ian... this is getting fucking messy. Every time you're here I'm getting fucking angry at you, you're crying, and Dave threatens to break up with me." <br/>"Please", Ian said, "I just want to talk. I promise, if you say it then, I'll leave you alone forever."</p><p>Mickey bit his lip, okay, one last time shouldn't hurt. <br/>He let Ian into the house, and they went to the living room. <br/>"You wanna sit?", Mickey asked.<br/>Ian shook his head, he stood close to Mickey and took both his hands in his, he hesitated. <br/>"Are you gonna say something or are you just feeling for my pulse?"</p><p>Ian took a deep breath, "Do you still love me?" <br/>Mickey looked up at him, he didn't expect this question. <br/>"When we broke up you said you love me." <br/>"I know what I said. I know what you said in response, so why would I-" <br/>"I love you", Ian interrupted him, "Since I was fifteen and you were the only person I wanted to see when my mom came back with that black girlfriend."</p><p>It was the first time Ian ever said this to his face. Mickey always kind of knew it, he knew it from Ian's emotional outbursts regarding Mickeys wedding to Svetlana and other things. But hearing it was something different though.</p><p>"Do you still love me?", Ian repeated, "At least a bit." <br/>Mickey bit his lip, but nodded, "Not that it would change a lot that I still do, because - what are you doing?"</p><p>Ian was now kneeling in front of him, on both knees, in a begging position, holding on to Mickey's hands tightly.</p><p>"I love you, Mickey Milkovich, so incredibly much. I know I made a huge mistake when I broke up with you, regardless of my reasons or how I thought this could be good for you. I could blame it all on my mother or on the disorder itself, but really... I was just an idiot. But if this showed me anything, it's that I need you in my life and, more importantly, I want you in my life. I want to spend all my days with you, the good ones, the manic ones, and the depressed ones. I'm sick and sometimes I do fucked up things and I don't want to make anyone suffer because of it, but if there is someone I want around when I feel that way, if there is someone I want to tell me to take my fucking meds, if there is someone I want to take care of me - it's you. It's always gonna be you until you feel like you can't anymore. And I would do anything to have you back, to have you love me again and take care of me and I will take care of you too. I will make sure you're okay, I will make sure you don't drink too much booze and drink enough water and eat healthy and I will make sure you have healthy sleeping patterns by coaxing you to bed with cuddles.", he smiled warmly and Mickey had to chuckle lightly, "I want to spend my whole life with you and kinda also with Yevgeny.", he kissed Mickeys tattooed knuckles and then looked up into his eyes again, "Will you marry me?"</p><p>Mickey looked down at him surprised. <br/>"Are you serious?", he whispered, not knowing why he whispered at all, no one else was home. <br/>"I wrote, memorized and held an entire speech here, yeah I'm serious."</p><p>Mickey got on his knees too, so they were looking eye to eye, "With the marriage thing too?" <br/>"Yes, very serious", Ian chuckled and let go of one of Mickeys hands to get a small ring out of his pocket and show it to Mickey, "So, what do you say?"</p><p>"Marriage is a pretty big step, isn't it? I mean we just were apart for almost as long as we were in an actual relationship", the Milkovich rambled on while looking at the silver ring.<br/>"Hey, Mick, we don't have to get married right away. We can get married tomorrow or in a year or in ten. I don't care, I just know that I want to be with you and that I want to be married to you some day. Do you want that too?"</p><p>Mickey looked up at him and smiled, "Yeah I want that" <br/>"Yes?" <br/>"Yes", Mickey nodded and then kissed him passionately.</p>
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